ashes and wine

    “I thought I understood it, that I could grasp it, but I didn’t, not really. Only the smudginess of it… the semi-precious eagerness of it. I didn’t realize that the wholeness was a rather luxurious idea. Because it’s the halves that halve you in half. I didn’t know, don’t know, about the in-between bits, the gory bits of you ... “ -Like Crazy
    It was all never really mine to begin with, nor will it ever be. I was giving all, but given pieces. Fragments of who you were, who you are, were revealed to me in discretion. However, I never fully knew who you were. Maybe you saw me as undeserving of knowing the very essence of who you are. Maybe you, yourself do not fully know the person you are, do not fully understand your whole self. Whatever the case, I know that I didn’t, I don’t and I will never know the complete person you are. I realize that all of it will never truly, fully be given to me. I have become okay with that very real, previously paralyzing fact.

 

Simple as that, it was never mine to be had.