Girl Code, it’s something that has been on my mind lately. I’m not sure if it’s the enlightening conversations with a friend that I have been having lately, or the fact that I watched Mean Girls two days in a row, that has got my mind racing. *ahem*That’s not exactly true; I know it’s both of those things that are the cause, I am just not sure if it’s more so because of the convo or the movie ;]. Anyway, where is this official list of “codes” that we as girls are supposed to abide by? Moreover, if we are supposed to abide by them to make coexisting with other girls more enjoyable and attainable, why isn’t it exactly working? Why is it that despite this honorary, unspoken, unofficial code of conduct, I still find myself knowing women who are in their 30s, spreading rumors, chicks my age acting like high school babies? I feel like rather than help, these unofficial rules put us in a box, restrict us from being better than the average person. They put limits on our thought process, tell us how we are supposed to feel and react to certain situations.
Recently I was faced with a decision to either go with what I know, what I was told to do by societies standards, or to act in a way that I actually wanted to act, in a way that would test my maturity and strengthen my character. I have always longed to be a girl who was able to rise about normalcy; a girl who was known for taking the high road. Unfortunately, more of my past shows otherwise. Never the less, something in my mind, in my heart was telling me to forget the “girl code”… maybe it was the text from the person (who was, unbeknownst to them, challenging me) that said “to hell with girl code” hahaha. I was faced with a decision to give someone whom society, “the code” or whatever you want to call it, would say I should just drop and ignore. It would have been incredibly easy to be cordial and leave it at that, and never speak again. It would have been easy to throw a slight attitude and walk away. But for some reason, I decided to take the chance and give that person an outlet to explain, a place to be open, a place to be honest and genuine. I didn’t really know what to expect. I thought maybe we would share a few things and then go along our way. That maybe we would just stick to wishing each other a few happy holidays and birthday wishes, but the outcome of taking a chance was much more than all of that.
Recently I was faced with a decision to either go with what I know, what I was told to do by societies standards, or to act in a way that I actually wanted to act, in a way that would test my maturity and strengthen my character. I have always longed to be a girl who was able to rise about normalcy; a girl who was known for taking the high road. Unfortunately, more of my past shows otherwise. Never the less, something in my mind, in my heart was telling me to forget the “girl code”… maybe it was the text from the person (who was, unbeknownst to them, challenging me) that said “to hell with girl code” hahaha. I was faced with a decision to give someone whom society, “the code” or whatever you want to call it, would say I should just drop and ignore. It would have been incredibly easy to be cordial and leave it at that, and never speak again. It would have been easy to throw a slight attitude and walk away. But for some reason, I decided to take the chance and give that person an outlet to explain, a place to be open, a place to be honest and genuine. I didn’t really know what to expect. I thought maybe we would share a few things and then go along our way. That maybe we would just stick to wishing each other a few happy holidays and birthday wishes, but the outcome of taking a chance was much more than all of that.
It might have made more sense to the rest of the world to leave well enough alone, but it made more sense to us to fight past the “awkward” and to push through the uncomfortable patches; it made more sense to us to be bigger than that. Not only have I learned so much about this person, already, but I am learning a lot about myself in the process. I have learned that I can be stronger than I give myself credit for, I can grow more, just when I think I’ve grown enough. Just as I gave her a chance, she gave me one too. She was faced with the same decision as I was, to leave well enough alone, or to find out for herself, the real person that I am. We have developed a very real, very honest, very hilarious friendship that, to the majority of people is so random and weird and unconventional. But, if you really look at the two of us, we are aren't exactly the conventional types. I am so thankful that we were both mature enough and, in a sense, curious enough, to put stupid “girl codes” and rules of society aside and to go with our gut!
My point for all this is to say we all need to stop acting in a way that is expected. What is the point of us all being different people, with different thoughts and ideas, different styles and beliefs and feelings, if we are all just going to try and conform into the same person? Why are we all trying to bend and twist not only our looks but our feelings and ideas, or actions and emotions to fit into what is acceptable? I say, what’s acceptable is what is right by you, what you feel is right for yourself in your own situation. If we all keep doing what is “normal” or “expected” or what we feel is approved and ignore that something in us that tells us to do otherwise, we could be missing out on something really great. I found that, if I had shut that door, I would have been shutting the door to someone who I could be my complete self with. I would have been closing down the opportunity to know someone who is genuine, honest, trustworthy, loving and freakin hilarious. I think it’s time we bust out of this cookie cutter syndrome and figure out what works best for each of us individually.
My point for all this is to say we all need to stop acting in a way that is expected. What is the point of us all being different people, with different thoughts and ideas, different styles and beliefs and feelings, if we are all just going to try and conform into the same person? Why are we all trying to bend and twist not only our looks but our feelings and ideas, or actions and emotions to fit into what is acceptable? I say, what’s acceptable is what is right by you, what you feel is right for yourself in your own situation. If we all keep doing what is “normal” or “expected” or what we feel is approved and ignore that something in us that tells us to do otherwise, we could be missing out on something really great. I found that, if I had shut that door, I would have been shutting the door to someone who I could be my complete self with. I would have been closing down the opportunity to know someone who is genuine, honest, trustworthy, loving and freakin hilarious. I think it’s time we bust out of this cookie cutter syndrome and figure out what works best for each of us individually.
No comments:
Post a Comment